Wow. Blogging is getting harder and harder these days. Perhaps it's because there are only a handful of people who actually read what I write. Perhaps it's because I'm lazy. Either way, pictures available on
facebook.
The French Riviera. When I heard that phrase in the past, I always thought to myself, what a grandiose place. Meaning, "hey, french riviera, get over yourself." But, I really do think that it lived up to all the hype. All the fancy shops, fancy restaurants, ritzy places and other grandiose things were counterbalanced by beautiful scenery, quaint streets, and overall extremely friendly people. In fact, the most unfriendly person we encountered may have been the Prince of Monaco who declined our invitation to get schwasted and roam the city of Monte Carlo.

Anyways, the trip started in London with a 5 hour layover that lasted 5 lifetimes. London has the reputation of having horrible weather, all the time. I had previously assumed that this was limited to outdoor areas but the London Lutton airport quickly corrected that misconception by exposing its patrons to the coldest conditions in the transportation business since the Titanic (da dun chsshhh). After nearly escaping death by freezing, we made it to our hostel in Nice at around 10 pm.

We immediately set out for an American-style bar called "Wayne's" which was well known for its reputation of having more people dancing on tables than on the floor. Perfect. We passed the night with a few drinks watching the many drunk Americans doing what they do best. Jessica managed to make friends with a 60+ year old Bulgarian woman who was going nuts on the tables. Surprise, surprise...

The next day we went to a small mountain town called Vence. We were actually trying to stay in the town "St.Paul d'Vence" but something got lost in translation and we made a hotel reservation in the nearby but obviously distinct town of "Vence". Luckily, Vence was a cute town and boasted the only giant statue of a dove/pigeon that i have ever had the pleasure to see. Plus our hotel was amazing and came fully stocked with things such as purple sheets, a green bathroom, and a lounge cat.

We went out to dinner at a really nice french restaurant and had some amazing food. The food in the south was a mix of French and Italian food and we had some really impressive dishes of gnocchi and scallops and a cornucopia of other delights.

We made it to St. Paul d'Vence for a few hours the next day on our way back to Nice. It was a really pretty town with tiny streets and lots of flowers. There wasn't really anything to do there so Jessica temporarily quelled her insatiable appetite for sweets with a crepe (on a cannon, not to be confused with Christ on a bike).

The night that followed was poorly planned, poorly executed, and epic. The plan was to go to Monaco, a place where we could not afford to stay in a hotel. So that meant we were going to leave all of our stuff in a locker in the Nice train station and spend the night in Monaco, not going to sleep. We bought food for a picnic dinner and rum and mixers to save money as well. One poor choice in particular was the downfall of the entire night. Let me explain.

(Jessica changing clothes in a photobooth in the Nice train station)
When we got off the bus we walked around to some very pretty gardens and to the palace of the Prince of Monaco. We stopped in a small garden near the palace to eat and start to drink. Upon opening the bottle of rum we realized that we had made a grave mistake. Buying a 6 euro bottle of rum was a poor decision. After saving money by not eating at a restaurant and not getting a hotel room, we should have thought about classing it up and buying the 10 euro rum. But, stingy is a hard thing to give up and we paid for it. The rum was terrible and left us with some pretty wretched hang overs.

Anyways, life goes on, sort of. We went to the casinos and did our thing but the nightlife in Monte Carlo was not what we expected. We both got really tired around 4 AM so we decided to go find a place to sleep until the 6 AM bus came. In a half-daze, we wandered all the way back to the garden next to the palace and passed out on the benches there. I kid you not when i say that the palace is up a huge hill that must have taken a half hour to walk up but that didn't enter our half asleep minds.

We caught the 6 AM bus but I quickly decided that I didn't belong on the bus. Taking the turns along this windy coastal road did not agree with me or my stomach and I barely managed to run off the bus to vomit. Out with the bad. This, of course, was after contemplating relieving my stomach into Jessica's cloth travel bag. Long story short, we fell asleep on the bench and managed to miss the next bus, giving us a cumulative hour long wait.
When we got back to Nice we went to the beach to sleep off the poor choices of the previous night. We were rudely interrupted by what appeared to be an Indian wedding party shouting and screaming and being generally loud all around us. Jessica managed to get really burned bring the poor choice count up just a smidgen. We both managed to recover slightly. The rest of the day was a wash. Nothing bad, nothing great.

However, it was this night that we decided on the Chicken Plan of 2009 which consisted of buying a rotisserie chicken and eating it on the beach for dinner the next day. And we did just that, but not without our fare shares of close calls.
When the time came to carry out the Chicken Plan of 2009, we were ready. We walked to the hole in the wall meat store and salivated in the direction of the full rotisserie, spinning delightfully with at least 15 golden chickens. Of course the butcher/15 year old boy only spoke French but we managed to understand that the chickens weren't ready yet, they needed 30 more minutes to slowly and deliciously turn in circles and drip glorious juices. So we went to a nearby plaza to wait. I didn't want to go back right at thirty minutes so i tricked Jessica into waiting 35. When she found out, she furiously exclaimed "What if there's a Chicken Blowout and there's none left!". As we picked up the pace and rounded the corner, we saw the rotisserie, nearly devoid of delicious-looking birds. Thankfully, there was one left and we snagged him just in time, right before a hippie couple tried to get him.

We continued to the beach and had ourselves a (winner winner) Chicken Dinner despite the near-atrocities of the Chicken Blowout of 2009.

We left Nice the next morning and headed back to Madrid via the ice palace of the London Lutton airport. To take our mind off the cold, this time we decided to watch Slumdog Millionaire (great movie by the way). We got a little absorbed in the movie and ended up heading towards our gate about 10 minutes before departure. We quickly learned that this was a bad idea when we showed up at the gate and they told us that we had missed our flight. I called them on their bullshit and they kindly made a call to the airplane and opened the door again for us. Crisis averted, we arrived in Madrid, safe and sound.